I can't rememeber if I ever mentioned this topic before but early on Peanut and I struggled with this. It took 3-4 weeks before I didn't want to cry every time she latched on. I struggled through it trying desperately to get through it knowing it would be beneficial to my baby. Now that I made it through I love it. Its personal time to continue to bond with my Peanut. I was also able to produce a lot of milk in the beginning. No, not a lot, and insane amount. There were a few times I could pump close to 20 ounces AFTER feeding her. Even though I have a lot of milk stored away I don't want to stop breastfeeding. Like I mentioned before I enjoy it. Since going back to work I've noticed a dramatic drop. It's so hard to do something you want to do but your body doesn't want to cooperate with your ideas. For the first time this weekend I didn't have enough to make my baby happy. It broke my heart that she was getting so frustrated becuase she wasn't getting what she wanted from me. I had to heat up a bottle to finally make her happy. This wasn't just one occurance. If it was one I might be able to handle it a little better thinking it was just a fluke. However it happened a few times in a row. I was hoping to make it the whole year with feeding her breastmilk and not having to do any formula. The way my supply is dropping I'm worried I won't be able to do this much longer for her, and it hurts my heart. I know whatever happens happens. And I know I have done a lot for her already, doesn't make it any easier if you have a plan and it doesn't work. Doesn't make it any easier that I love breastfeeding and I might not be able to make it as long as I wanted. This all makes me sad, but I'm not going to go down without trying my hardest to bring my supply back up. No matter how much extra work it makes for me.
She is just so darn cute!!!
-Mama Lucas
Can you ramp the amount of time that you pump at work?
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